Planning my life away.

I have a bad habit. Some of you are laughing, thinking I have more than one and you are right. There is only one that I want to talk about today though. I call it a habit because it happens so frequently that it's almost second nature, like biting your nails when you're nervous. What is this habit? Well, I'm a planner. It's just how my mind works. When I have a dream it includes a cost-benefit analysis and a 12 step plan for accomplishing it. No I'm not saying planning is always a bad thing, but I have a tendency to plan God out of His own plans. I'll feel a nudge from God or a pull in a certain direction and my mind is gone, flying a million miles an hour, figuring out what I need to do. But, my plans are really doomed for destruction from the start for two reasons.

First, how can I expect to be fulfilling God's call if I'm not listening to Him each step along the way? I imagine God sitting there shaking His head, like a father watching an overeager child, as I run around trying to accomplish what I believe His plan is. As I pause for a moment to breath and ask myself, "Why isn't God's plan working out?" He's smiling thinking it's not working because I sprinted off before I heard the second half of the instructions. The only way to know God's plan is to spend time with Him. To sit quietly and listen for His voice and feel His pull on your heart. Human planning and knowledge will never be able to replace this, and why would we want it to? The one who created us wants to tell us His specific purpose for our lives, yet often we listen for a minute and spend 30 trying to figure it out on our own.

Second, the more I plan, the more I focus on the plan instead of God. In Revelation 2 the church in Ephesus is praised for their "hard work and perseverance" among other things, but then it says, "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." God didn't create us simply to do tasks. Above all else He wants to be in relationship with us. If we sacrifice our relationship with Him, even to do what we feel His will is, we are missing the point. The biggest part of God's plan for our lives is to be with us daily. When we lose sight of God in all of our planning we know we are not fulfilling His plan, because it involves Him being there always.

Fall is here!

Last Friday morning I awoke to something different in the air. I wasn't sure what it was as I lay in bed, but when I stepped outside my world was changed. It was overcast, 74 degrees, and a cool northern breeze was blowing. Perfect weather! Being in law school I did the only logical thing, studied outside before my morning class. As I sat there by the Brazos river surrounded by beautiful scenery and feeling the cool breeze I was satisfied...for about five minutes. After five minutes my mind was in the mountains. If it was this great here, I could only imagine how great it would be back in Sipapu, New Mexico or even better Colorado. That was it, I needed to get to the mountains. I mean this weather was great and all and I loved being in it, but I wanted more.

Sitting there thinking these thoughts, a quote from A.W. Tozier came to mind, "O God, I have tasted Your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more." The weather had satisfied me, but more than anything it made me want more. So often I taste the things of this world and want more. More glory, more influence, more power, more wealth, and the list goes on. Yet, there is something inside me, inside you, that is longing for more than those things. When we long for the things of this world, whether we know it or not, deep down we are longing for God. God is glory, influence, power, grace, love, forgiveness. The ways we taste His goodness manifest themselves differently in each of our lives, and we may not see beyond the cheap earthly substitutes for God, but He is in all things. We were created in His image with a longing for Him in our hearts and a taste of His goodness in our mouths. Take the time today to see Him and His goodness in the everyday longings of your heart.